Your feelings & thoughts are valid Wombsister.
"I had a really hard time connecting with Bronx the moment he came into this world. I’m not sure what it was that caused me to feel the way I felt. I didn’t have a traumatic experience like my first delivery, but for some reason, I struggled with feeling like he was mine & I was his. I wasn’t dealing with postpartum depression like I had with Harlem, but I did have a gush of emotions that came following after his birth.
When Bronx came out, I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry so I did both. I couldn’t believe I had just became a mom of two. It just didn’t feel the same. My heart didn’t magically expand like I envisioned it would. I struggle with feeling that I wasn’t going to have the same love for my second born like I did the first. Of course I was excited to hold him & love him, but everything just felt so different.
It wasn’t until I had a mental breakdown two days after he was born. I didn’t realize how much I had built up inside of me, until I got a call from my midwife checking in. She asked me such a simple question, yet it triggered me to burst out in tears over the phone. She had me come in to see her so I could talk through my emotions. It was then & there, I was able to process through my whole birth experience.
I was able to sort through how I was feeling & to know that what I was feeling was normal & that I wasn’t alone in feeling how I felt. It was then I had some relief & peace knowing that the love I have for him would eventually come, which it did that day.
These photos captured such an intimate moment with my sweet boy. I laughed. I shed tears. I examined his little fingers & toes. Discovered birth marks. Kissed him for the first time. I connected with him one on one & it was everything this mama needed. We both needed. Now I can’t get enough & my heart’s expansion exceeded my expectations. #motherhood
Birth center: @originsbirthdallas"
Divine Wombsister: @sopharush